The Beauty of Turning People Off
Finding your authentic self means that you have to offend a few people here and there…
When you do, you’ll begin to embody your whole self with clarity and confidence.
Some people will tell you you’re too much.
You know who I’m talking about.
The people we don’t curse around because we don’t want to offend them.
The people we dress down for because we want them to take us seriously.
The people who unsubscribe when we share what we really value and think.
Those people were never for us and they do us more harm than we realize. We smother pieces of ourselves every time we put their needs and preferences above our own. The threat of their disapproval keeps us small - and it keeps us from magnetizing ourselves to the people who are right for us.
It’s time to shed those people. They are not our best fit.
What it means to be magnetized.
To be magnetized means being authentic. And as with every magnet, one pole attracts while the other repels.
Repelling people means you’re so authentic that just your point of view and message will turn people off. But only the people who were wrong for you anyway.
Here’s why you turn off these wrong-for-you people:
Your truth and authenticity stirs up some deeper insecurity within them.
You really just have different values.
You’re triggering something they don’t want to change about themselves.
You want to repel the people who think you are too much, who just don't get you, who think you’re too boujie, too weird, too black or too whatever it is that you are when you are your most authentic.
And this is important to know because it can hold you hostage.
If you’re not pissing the wrong people off, you're not being explicit about your values enough.
You’re playing it safe and not really calling the right people to you.
And you’re robbing your people of the opportunity to really see you and find a home in your message - and you’re keeping them from the transformation and experience they can have with you.
As best-selling author, Ann Handley says, “It’s a waste of time and resources to nurture relationships with people who are a bad fit... It’s also emotionally exhausting. Trust me.”
So let's make space for our people.
The people who curse, too.
Who have the same shoes.
Who ask what shade of lipstick we were wearing in our videos.
The people who don’t just take but give with a hit reply, a share, an invite to get to know us more, and who actually buy our shit!
And even though being yourself can be scary, it doesn’t mean you have to bare your soul and share all your shit.
Being yourself in business is about exposing the parts of yourself that can add value, motivate, inspire, and challenge your audience, clients, and customers in a positive and transformative way.
Being yourself in business means being in total embodiment of who you are at your core… the place and space that is the origin of your creativity before you shifted it in order to fit it into a box. It’s a freedom and a gift to those who want to learn and work with you.
Maybe you worry that if your audience sees your true self, they’ll scurry off your page, email list, or out of your life like rats off a sinking ship.
Well, I’m here to remind you:
You don’t want rats. Rats are not boujie. Let them go.